What I Learned From A Year Off Social Media

In 2017, social media users spent an average of 135 minutes a day endlessly switching between Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and Twitter. While no official stats have yet been released, I suspect that number only increased in 2018. When I look back to the period between Christmas and New Year 2017, this was me – scrolling aimlessly through these apps in a bid to combat post-festive ennui. Dismayed by the realisation I was just listlessly scrolling and scrolling – with little to no pleasure from anything I saw – I deactivated my Facebook and Instagram accounts then and there and decided to give up social media until the end of January.
 
For full disclosure, I should reveal that I did keep my Twitter account. As a journalist I see it as a professional tool, rather than one I use for personal interactions. While I’m still graced with cat videos each day, Twitter is the place I go to for breaking news, links to long-form journalism by some of my favourite writers and, as part of The Brief team here at SheerLuxe, essential up-to-date political goings on. In short, for me Twitter is an extension of LinkedIn – a place to find contacts for stories, (attempt to) stay on top of Brexit and read, read, read. I’ve also never had Snapchat, so there was no need to hit delete when it came to that particular app.
 
Perhaps given my long-held issues with elements of social media (more on those later), it shouldn’t have been much of a surprise that once January was up, I found I hadn’t really missed the apps at all. So, I decided to continue my self-imposed digital detox, transforming my one-month challenge into a year-long endeavour to see how my relationship with both my phone and the Internet transformed without the presence of Instagram and Facebook, both mainstays on my three-hour daily commute and in my interactions with friends and acquaintances. Here’s what I learned along the way…

You’ll miss birthdays…

And friends will miss yours, too. The irony wasn’t lost on me that my biggest birthday in nine years – my 30th – was also my least celebrated. At least online, anyway (my IRL reality was, thankfully, very different). In all, I think I received around ten texts, compared to the usual 50-plus “HB!” messages whenever Facebook alerted my long-lost friends online. On the plus side, I didn’t have to endure those birthday collages well-meaning mates often to post on your wall – you know, the ones where they look great, but you look shite. Every cloud…
 

FOMO will become a thing of the past…

When it comes to online-organised birthdays/house parties/random gatherings, chances are you probably won’t receive an invitation. Why? Because organisers tend to select invitees from the list of names in front of them. One of the worst aspects of giving up my Facebook profile was meeting up with people and being asked why I didn’t come to their party or gig – something, it transpired, they’d only shouted about online.
 
But when it comes to FOMO (fear of missing out), or that niggling envy we all occasionally feel when we see our friends posting pictures of events we knew nothing about, consider this: FOMO doesn’t exist if you don’t know what you’re missing.
 
A case in point. My ex and I left things on good terms. Over our four-year relationship, we amassed a huge gang of friends, all of whom I followed on Facebook and Instagram. I was genuinely happy for him when he got a new girlfriend. But what really stung was having to see their relationship unfold over the various timelines of my friends – and at events I hadn’t been invited to. The real kicker was bearing witness to a Timehop photo – from when we’d recently broken up – and seeing them all, new squeeze included, grinning out of my screen. No one wants to see that – but in order to avoid that kind of content, I’d need to mute everyone in that friendship group. Impossible. By taking a step away from all photo-sharing sites, I’ve been spared such shockers (and no doubt dozens of other NFI moments) and can honestly say I feel much happier for being kept in the dark.
 

Your self-esteem will skyrocket…

While I’ve never been one to take selfies (I have nothing against them, they’re just not for me), as I’m not a celeb or influencer, I’ve never experienced online trolls or cyberbullying – social media’s most publicised con. However, one of the biggest benefits I’ve experienced during my time away from social media is what experts call the ‘social comparison cycle’. You know that feeling when you’re having a dull Sunday cleaning your rented flat, but everyone else you know is on holiday, decorating their huge new home or downing mimosas at brunch, surrounded by girlfriends? Now I no longer see this on a daily basis I’ve found I’m not as prone to negatively comparing my normal life with someone else’s ‘perfect’ one. As a result, I’d say I feel much more content with my lot.
 

Seeing your friends will be even better…

It sounds obvious but allowing yourself to take a break from every detail of your friends’ lives makes face-to-face meetings so much more interesting. For a start, you actually have new things to catch up on. I’ve also noticed people are much more likely to open up and go into detail about what’s going on in their lives if you ask: “How are you? What have you been up to?” rather than exclaiming “I saw you went to Ibiza – it looked incredible!" On the flipside, you won’t have a clue what random former colleagues or school friends – and their associated ever-photographed broods – are up to, but to be honest, if you never see them in real life, who cares?