A Sex Therapist’s Tips For The Ultimate Orgasm

“Most people think the clitoris is just the bean-shaped area at the upper part of the vulva, but three-quarters of the clitoris isn’t visible to the naked eye. The internal part of the clitoris surrounds the vaginal canal and, with thousands of sensory nerve endings, is very responsive to stimulation. That’s why clitoral stimulation gets orgasms flowing – the overwhelming majority of women won’t climax from penetrative sex alone. Incorporating a vibrator that focuses on the clitoris into either partnered or solo sex increases the likelihood of orgasm.” – Casey Tanner, sex therapist at LELO

“Using your fingers to externally stimulate might help you climax eventually, but a clitoral vibrator – like a bullet – will speed things up and make your orgasm more intense. If you’re in the beginning stages of exploring, start with LELO’s bestselling LILY 3. The brand's original sex toy launched 20 years ago, the now-updated, palm-sized accessory is perfect for both solo and couple's play. Compact and discreet, it has ten vibration patterns, and can even be included in penetrative sex, allowing you to experience internal penetration and external stimulation at the same time. The LELO Dot is also one try – the pinpoint clitoral vibrator uses elliptical movements, rather than standard back-and-forth vibrations – to help you apply pleasure exactly where you need it.”

“Flexible and soft to the touch, the ORA 3 is among LELO’s bestselling toys and one to try if you want to mimic the sensations of oral sex. With a soft nub that rotates and vibrates with 12 different vibration patterns, this oral sex stimulator gently stimulates to provide a deep orgasm. To further emulate the experience of oral sex, add a touch of lubricant to the tip of the toy before applying pressure to get the hint of wetness that makes oral sex so pleasurable. The SILA Cruise, meanwhile, also mimics oral sex, but with an added sucking sensation. Using sonic waves to stimulate the clitoris, rather than direct contact, it creates a steady build towards climax without overstimulating. The wide mouth on this clitoral stimulator allows the clitoris to be pleasured from multiple angles, opening the door to a more intense orgasm and sensual experience.”

“If you’re new to clitoral vibrators, start slow. Your clitoris often takes some warming up before intense sensations feel pleasurable instead of overstimulating. Start by placing a small amount of lubricant on your hand before placing it onto the part of the vibrator that will touch your clitoris – this helps warm the lube slightly for a less jolting experience when you use the toy. Before you turn the toy on, gently move the vibrator around your clitoris, bringing awareness to the area and easing your body into the sensation. Then, slowly increase the toy’s intensity. If you find the toy overstimulating, try stimulating the area around your clitoris, such as the labia, instead of making direct contact. You can also try folding the labia over the clitoris to reduce the sensations.”

“You or a partner can build suspense and sexual tension by edging the clitoris with a low-intensity vibrator, or by stopping and starting the vibrator just as you are about to orgasm. Edging is a fun way to mix things up and will also increase the intensity of an orgasm when it finally happens.”

“With a little creativity, you can incorporate clitoral vibrators such that they don’t interfere or slow the intensity of penetrative sex. Using a clitoral vibrator during ‘from behind’ positions, such as doggy style or a spooning position, allows either partner to apply the vibrator to the clitoris. You can also experiment using a clitoral vibrator in positions when you are on top. While sitting on your partner, you can place the vibrator on your clitoris, using your own body for increased pressure and sensation. You can even try using a toy on his penis. Like the clitoris, the tip of the penis has an incredible number of nerve endings. Place lubricant on the tip of the vibrator, and on a low setting, rub the tip of the vibrator around the head of the penis slowly, stopping in places that feel particularly pleasurable.”

Whether you’re looking for something discreet or a toy that you can incorporate into foreplay and sex, Swedish sexual wellness brand LELO has something for everyone. To get started, visit LELO.com.