What Turning 40 Has Meant To These Women

“People like to set themselves age-based life markers, which is a sure road to depression. Focusing on a black and white list of society norms diminishes the other opportunities your life has and will present in the future. I came rather late to the marriage and baby party at 40 and 42, respectively, but any earlier would have meant both suffered in the shadow of Cult Beauty’s conception (and the 12 years of toil that followed). It’s very easy to spot good timing with hindsight. The first three years of my 40s have been pretty good so far, my skin is less bouncy, my bum is way bouncier, but I feel more optimistic. The best thing I’ve learned is that advice is a form of nostalgia presented as fact. Listen to people’s recommendations in context and never let another person’s life choice or achievements make you feel bad about your own.”

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“When I hit 40, I had three little girls and had just become a freelance fashion stylist. Tragically, I lost my darling mother to cancer halfway through this monumental and shape-shifting decade. Having children refines you in a way you didn’t think possible, forcing you to mature, to contemplate life’s bigger picture and to nurture a love and resilience you didn’t think was possible. Losing my mother did the same, simultaneously. I gained three incredible females in my life who needed me as much as the person I was saying goodbye to. Despite a crippling sense of loss that I live with daily, I can honestly say that decade was magnificent – love was at its core, in all its heart-bursting and heart-breaking forms. Turning 40 seemed pretty un-traumatic in comparison and I didn’t approach it with any huge sense of terror, more a mild concern and general curiosity. And I ended up feeling strangely empowered and proud of where my life was and what I had achieved. Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to look like and have the energy of my 30-year-old-self, but would I do it all over again and change anything? Probably not.”

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“Turning 40 is a huge milestone for so many people, and I was definitely not the exception to the rule. However, while many people see milestone birthdays as something to dread, I used it as an opportunity to review my life, see if there was anything missing, and fill in those gaps. My 40th was far more than just a day of celebrations. The occasion prompted me to realise that I needed to stop worrying about and investing my energy into things I cannot control. Instead, I decided to refocus my energy and attention onto the most sacred values in my life – health, family and internal happiness. Turning 40 pushed me to focus on my health in particular, and I work out every day to stay on top of my health, both physically and mentally. Since turning 40, I've tried to look inward and identify what I want for myself, rather than thinking about other people's expectations for me. Ultimately, turning 40 is what you make of it.”

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“I was in my early 40s when I founded ME+EM, with two young children and three older stepchildren, so I was essentially growing a business and a family at the same time. The children would always take priority, but the business needed enough attention so it could grow as well. That balancing act taught me a huge amount of personal and professional life lessons. One of the key things has been to surround myself with the right people: advisors, employees, a support network; relationships that you can nurture and trust. And when you’re that busy, staying healthy is paramount, so I do lots of exercise – tennis and yoga – and I’m obsessed with drinking Amazing Grass Green Superfood every morning. It’s become something of a running joke among the team, but I swear it keeps me fighting fit year-round.”

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“Turning 40 wasn’t the second ‘coming of age’ I’d hoped for. The truth is, life was anything but simple in the run-up to my birthday. The leap of faith I’d taken with my business in building a 6,000 sq ft studio in six weeks was not going to plan. On the side of an all-consuming project, one of my girlfriends was dying and my own mental health was deteriorating rapidly. The self-assured 40-year-old I assumed I would morph into was nowhere to be seen. All I could see were lists of failures, years of mistakes, setbacks and wrong turns. Little did I know I was about to take the biggest leap of faith and what I thought was rock bottom soon turned out to be a thriving business. In the last 18 months, I’ve learned how to minimise my regrets, quieten my inner critic and lighten up on myself and on others, too. I finally understand asking for help is not a sign of weakness and that having candid conversations and showing vulnerability are the foundations upon which we build ourselves. I may not be the 40-year-old I thought I’d be, but none of that seems to matter now.”
 

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"Being able to report safely from the other side of turning 40, I can confirm there is nothing to fear, but mostly great things to anticipate. It’s a brilliant age for lots of reasons and I feel better now than ever before. It helps that, by this time, we have learnt who we are, that we care less and dare more. For me it was also a moment to re-engage with work after a break and coincided with founding our business. It was an advantage to be able to have the flexibility of being my own boss and I felt ready and able to transition to self-employment, with all the ups and downs that status brings. Far from feeling that this decade is the slippery slope, I see it as a period to further build my confidence and find new passions. I see so many women around me who have started fresh or developed their existing careers in incredible ways, or indeed decided to take some time out because they hadn’t done so in their 30s. Remember, age is just a number and we have all the tools at our disposal to make our 40s (and beyond) a time to be excited about."

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“My most useful life-lessons have all been learnt since turning 40, thanks to a new-found wisdom and a greater knowledge of the fundamentals of how to live a healthier, happier life. Fitness-wise, I’m stronger and leaner than ever and have learned it is quality time and not length of time in the gym that counts. I used to say I hated running – now I start most mornings with a (short) run and look forward to my 5k each weekend. The great outdoors is the best way to lift my mood, increasing energy levels and providing a happy hit of endorphins. Since writing The Good Gut Guide in my 40s, I’ve also learned to pay far more attention to my microbiome, as the majority of our serotonin is produced in the gut. I now make my own plain live yoghurt and kefir – very easy and so beneficial. And on the subject of happy hormones, I’ve learned just how safe and beneficial HRT is (the inexpensive, regulated kind from my GP) and only wish I had started taking it earlier in my forty-something peri-menopause years.”

Visit LizEarleWellbeing.com. The Truth About HRT, her latest e-book, is out now.

“Growing up, 40 was always the age where I thought I’d be officially old. In fact, I’ve spent the last five years of each decade panicking about entering the next. My thirties ended in mix of relief and elation, staggering out of hospital following a six-week battle with septicaemia. Since that moment I’ve vowed to treat every day as a blessing. I was terribly attached to the past during my twenties and thirties, subconsciously lugging every single life occurrence around with me, which was stifling. There is definitely an art to letting go, and it wasn’t until I reached the other side of 40, with a family to look after and a business to run, that I just didn’t have the time to indulge in my mental and emotional baggage anymore. Situations that would keep me up at night, and would tumble around my brain, now just seem easier to set aside. And while I’ve always known this in theory, it now just seems easier, and almost natural, to just move on. I’m beyond proud of what I’ve achieved, especially knowing that I get to help thousands of others, too.” 
 

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“Going back in time, my 18-year-old self had a vision of everything I wanted to achieve in my life and what defined success. When I hit 40, I thought I’d reached all my goals. But then what? Life is a journey and there’s always another goal to chase. There’ll never be a point when you’ve achieved everything. I’ve since tried to change my perspective and be more ‘in the now’. While still goal oriented, I am a lot more spiritual and more mature in dealing with challenges, relationships and work. When I was younger, it was all about winning; now, it’s more about finding a solution that makes everyone happy, avoiding burning bridges and trying to maintain positive energy in various situations. I feel less stressed, happier and more zen.”

Visit Rodial.co.uk

“Turning 40 was a strange time for me as I’d just gone through a divorce – I got married at 24 and we were together for 14 years. I was dreading turning 40, not necessarily for the fear of biological ageing, but more the emotional state I was in. My mum – who sadly passed away from cancer at the age of 67 – organised a surprise party and it was such a turning point for me. It made me realise I am blessed to have so much love in my life. My mum made me realise that every day you are alive is a gift. Although I am older, I try to maintain a youthful outlook. I don’t try to be young, I’ve been young – and now I am older and wiser, and I can honestly say it only gets better. Yes, my hair is thinner, and I have a few more wrinkles, but I’m not going to go under the knife to stay looking young. Toxic relationships – think bad friendships or a stressful job – is what ages you.”

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“I resisted the arrival of 40 with the red-faced refusal of a three-year-old. On the eve of the day itself, I took comfort in the fact it was going to be a quiet dinner for two. My husband led me to the restaurant, and into a wall of my smiling friends; some of whom I’d intentionally not told I was approaching the ripeness of 40. So, slicing through the joy was shame – the secret was out, there was nowhere to hide. Let me be clear: the ‘shame’ is not about looking old; it’s about what I’ve achieved. It’s the same reason I’ve always hated New Year’s Eve – it’s like a career stocktake. There’s always more I could have done. The good news is that middle age comes with insane multitasking ability. Simultaneously building a business and countless Lego towers with a toddler is like brain jujitsu. What the hell did I do with all that freedom in my 20s? I’ve never been so pressed for time or so productive. And, right now, I’ve still got the energy to pull it off. At 40 it hits you: life is short, but it’s all yours for the taking. You just don’t get to lie in anymore.”

Visit LeapfrogRemedies.com ​

“The year I turned 40, I left Tom Ford after 18 years to start FLOWERBX and had my third baby, so it was a year – and decade – full of adrenaline, excitement and expectation. The key to feeling excited for milestone birthdays is to push yourself, grow and try new things. Try to pay less attention to others and what they’re doing. By focusing on yourself, you’ll ensure you’re doing your best. So many superficial things I was preoccupied with in my 20s and 30s don’t matter at all now. I’ve since learned the importance of sleep, eating well and taking care of the planet, and that these things actually improve the quality of my life. I’ve made a point of no longer investing time and energy into people or things that don’t make me happy.”

Visit FLOWERBX.com​