2 Women Share Their Sex Diaries
Anastasia Mihaylova (Shpara)/stocksy united
Frankie, 29 - Single
I’ve been single for a year. I’m not looking for anything too serious – I’m giving myself time to explore who I am and what I want. My identity as a sexual person is an ongoing experience. I’m very clear with people about wanting to explore different fantasies and making sure they’re down for some fun, too. Dating apps get a lot of hate, but I rate them. I actually get turned on reading profiles and messaging people, it’s like a form of foreplay. And then when I do choose someone to meet, I’m ready to go. My sex drive fluctuates throughout the month, but I’m always hornier at the end of my period – I almost feel primal.
Last week I had sex once. It was a hook up from one of the apps. Being single, how often I have sex throughout the week changes all the time. I had a wild time about a month ago and hooked up a couple of times in one week, including a threesome, which was amazing. It was my first time and hopefully not my last – I felt so appreciated, like some kind of special guest star. There were some awkward moments for sure, but they were a cool couple. I ended up spending the night with them and we all had brunch the next morning, which was pretty surreal.
Threesomes are still high on my fantasy list. I’d love to have sex with two guys – I find the idea of double penetration so hot. I wouldn’t mind watching them have sex and pleasuring one another. I use this as masturbation material all the time. I hope I can make this happen in 2023.
I love to be on top. It’s probably a control thing – plus, I can touch myself and support myself with my hand on the wall. I come quickly on top because it’s so deep and easier to play with different angles. Being able to orgasm together is amazing. If I’m not on top, I like to lie on my side, so he can easily play with my clit, nipples and hair. Once you get the rhythm right, it can be so hot.
I masturbate twice a week. I have a collection of toys to play with depending on my mood. I love my Lovehoney Wand Vibrator as I can massage myself all over my body and then work my way down. When I want internal stimulation, I’ll use my Mon Ami G-spot massager, which provides full-on stimulation. It makes me shake after climaxing. With toys, it’s all about the lube – I use YES Organic’s water-based lube as it’s natural and the consistency is just right. Masturbation makes me feel happier and more confident. My favourite place to pleasure myself is in the bath – it’s such a sensual space.
Edging intensifies an orgasm. As far as new sensations go, I’ve been practicing slowing down and trying to prolong an orgasm. A wand is great for this – I bring myself to the point of orgasm and then stop and wait before starting again. When I finally come, it’s indescribable. It takes practice, but it’s so worth it.
My own pleasure comes first. When I was younger, I didn’t understand how to ask for what I wanted but I now make pleasure a priority. Masturbation has made me more aware of my body and I now appreciate there’s more to sex than just an orgasm. Feeling pleasure and taking the time to get aroused is just as great.
Olga Kozicka/stocksy united
Millie, 36 - Married
I’ve been with my husband for four years. We have sex two or three times a week but this is something we have to work at. We’ve made sex a priority in the last year as we noticed there was a bit of laziness creeping in. Being in a relationship for a while can mean things slow down, but I believe it's important to keep your sex lives alive. My sex drive is closely connected to my stress levels. I have a tendency to be work obsessed and I can tell when I’m overdoing it as my interest in sex plummets. My partner is aware of this so we’ve built in communication around this over the years.
We go through periods of having crazy sex. It’s like we first started dating – it’s full-on lust. We will text each other during the day, explicitly detailing what we’re going to do later. We’ll have sex everywhere in our flat – in the kitchen and living room. We even had sex in the car once, it was like we were teenagers.
We recently experimented with roleplay. My partner booked a hotel room and we met in the bar like strangers – it was seriously sexy. We both got the giggles a bit, especially when he was seducing me, but we both knew sex was a sure thing that night, and to play and get into character was hot. We’ve also been experimenting with anal stimulation – I know people can feel shy around doing this, but it’s so hot. My partner uses lube with either a toy or his fingers – it’s a whole new world of sensation play.
Jovana Vukotic/stocksy united
There’s one position that does it for me every time. I lie on my back and raise my legs up while he kneels in front of me. I can rest my legs on his shoulders while he thrusts deep inside me. Plus, he can grab my thighs and butt to take control – I’m all about the G-spot stimulation. I also love lying on my stomach with my legs together while he penetrates me from behind. I squeeze my thighs together for extra grip.
We use toys for a bit of fun. We recently bought the We Vibe Chorus and it’s incredible. It’s a vibrator I wear internally, but we both get the pleasure. He can also control it with an app, so sometimes I put it in before he gets home – it makes foreplay so much more exciting. Our go-to toy is Lovehoney’s vibrating cock ring, which is for both of us and makes him last longer.
Audio erotica takes masturbation to the next level. I love to masturbate even though I’m still in a relationship – sometimes alone although we sometimes masturbate together. When I’m alone, I listen to audio erotica and use it to fire my imagination. I use my Lovehoney rabbit vibrator, too, this is my special solo ritual time. It’s almost as good as the real thing, but I’d never tell him that. My relationship to orgasms has changed over the years and I’ve learnt it’s not all about clitoral stimulation. For me, the journey has been deepening the experience of orgasm – whether it’s a blended orgasm or anal stimulation. My partner is always up for trying new things.
Sex parties are something we’d love to do. This is something we’ve been speaking about recently and we’ve been doing some research to see what it might look like for us as a couple and as individuals. We both get pretty turned on just talking about it, so that’s a good sign. We’re not in a rush, but I hope it’s in our future.
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