Mental Health Tips To Help You Through The Festive Period

Scenario: My Christmas doesn’t look like the perfect ones I see on social media. The gifts, the families, the smiling faces – it makes me feel like I’m missing out.

“When I speak to clients, especially younger ones, I often hear how social media magnifies the pressure to have a perfect Christmas. Glittering decorations, expensive gifts, perfect family photos – it’s all staged to impress. But real life is rarely that curated. Instead, focus on creating meaningful, personal experiences, even if they’re simple, like baking cookies or having a movie night. The joy isn’t in the perfection; it’s in connection and authenticity. There’s often an expectation during this time of year to feel cheerful and celebratory, which can create unnecessary guilt i. I always remind my clients that it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions: joy, sadness or even indifference. One client put it beautifully when she said, “Happiness doesn’t have to be loud.” Sometimes, it’s simply enjoying a quiet moment, like reading a favourite book.” – Ieva Kubiliute, psychologist

“Social media can lead to stress or feelings of inadequacy. To avoid falling into this trap, limit your time on social platforms and remind yourself that what you see online is often a highlight reel, not reality. When it comes to gift-giving, focus on thoughtful gestures rather than expensive items. Remember, the holidays are about connection, not comparison. Setting boundaries and prioritising what truly matters – like spending quality time with loved ones – can help alleviate the pressure to meet external expectations.” – Tom MacLaren, consultant psychiatrist at Re:Cognition Health

“It’s not normal to feel ‘merry’ and ‘bright’ all the time – every emotion is completely valid, and it is okay if you’re not feeling your best self around the holidays. Embrace things not being perfect; life isn’t a Christmas movie and having those expectations is unreasonable. Focus on you and your needs. If something is no longer serving you, change it. You’re giving everyone else permission to be who they want to be, so why can’t we give that same understanding to ourselves?” - Amy Hubbuck, mental health consultant at Hidden Strength

Scenario: My family and I have a bit of a difficult relationship. Sometimes it can be pretty combative and I’m nervous about spending time with them.

“The holidays can sometimes feel like walking into an emotional minefield, especially when family dynamics are complicated. One client recently told me how exhausting it was to be ‘the peacemaker’ during family conflicts. My advice is always to set boundaries. For example, give yourself permission to excuse yourself from heated conversations or let family know in advance when you’ll need alone time. If spending time with family feels overwhelming, consider alternate ways to celebrate, like visiting a friend or scheduling smaller, one-on-one meet-ups with loved ones who you trust.” – Ieva   

“Family gatherings often come with invisible baggage. If conversations become tense or divisive, use phrases like, ‘I’d rather focus on something positive right now.’ Protecting your emotional space doesn’t mean disengaging – it means choosing where to invest your energy.” – Barbara Santini, psychologist, sex & relationships adviser

“Having an exit plan can ease the stress of family gatherings significantly. Organising your own transport means you can leave if things feel overwhelming – particularly if conversations take an uncomfortable turn or your personal boundaries aren’t respected. Equally important is carving out time for yourself during the holidays. Activities like cooking, exercising or picking up a new hobby can help you unwind and maintain balance, especially if you’ve grown up putting others’ needs ahead of your own.

“For those juggling time between multiple families, stress or guilt often creeps in. Start by accepting that you can’t please everyone and set realistic expectations instead. Clear communication with family members about your plans helps to avoid misunderstandings. For instance, share your schedule in advance so they know when to expect you – and when you’ll be heading off.

“If guilt starts to take hold, remember that prioritising your own wellbeing isn’t selfish. It’s perfectly okay to say ‘no’ when demands feel unmanageable. Focus on what feels meaningful and doable. A thoughtful phone call or a heartfelt card can show your love just as much as being there in person.” – Helen Wells, psychotherapist & clinical director at The Dawn Rehab Thailand

Scenario: I’ve lost someone dear to me. It’s hard seeing everyone spending time with their friends and family – it’s making me feel really lonely.

“Right now, billions of people around the world are grieving, trying to find their ‘new normal’ after loss. Building this takes time, but taking some small steps in the present can help you shape it. Whether it’s your first festive season without someone or many years have passed, the thought of Christmas can bring anxiety, dread and pressure to feel sociable. Often, the anticipation is worse than the day itself. Still, grief often feels sharper and harder to bear during the holidays. You might burst into tears unexpectedly, feel anger towards those around you or worry about how you’ll cope. These feelings are completely normal.” – Bianca Neumann, assistant director of bereavement at Sue Ryder

“The festive season often amplifies the absences you feel most deeply. It’s important to permit yourself to feel it fully – there’s no need to suppress your emotions or put on a brave face. Honouring a loved one through a ritual, like lighting a candle, sharing memories or doing something that reminds you of them, can help keep their presence close. Balancing celebration and mourning means making room for both. It’s okay to laugh and enjoy festive moments without guilt, just as it’s okay to step back if things feel too much. Weaving a loved one’s memory into your traditions can bridge that gap. ”– Holly Beedon, clinical lead at Living Well UK

“Don’t fight your feelings – share how you’re doing so others can support you, whether in person or virtually. Celebrate the small wins too – simply getting through the holidays is an achievement. This time of year can be emotionally draining and grief is exhausting, so rest when you need it. Remember, everyone experiences loneliness at some point and there’s no shame in it. Try sticking to a routine or setting small goals to stay productive and avoid slipping into overthinking or spending too much time in bed. The days can feel endless without little ways to break them up.” – Amy 

“Stay in touch with friends or family through video calls, messages or even handwritten letters to keep bonds strong. Getting involved in local events or volunteering is another great way to meet new people and find a sense of purpose. Helping out at a food bank, shelter or charity not only combats loneliness but also creates meaningful connections.” - Anna Miller, life coach, nurse & co-founder of The Ardour Clinic

Scenario: The end of the year is drawing near and I'm nowhere near where I thought I’d be. I feel bad about how I look and what I’ve accomplished.

“The end of the year can bring disappointment or anxiety, especially for young people reflecting on missed goals or future uncertainties. Instead of asking, ‘what didn’t I achieve?’ shift your focus to ‘what did I learn?’. Growth isn’t just about hitting targets – it’s about evolving. Take a moment to recognise your progress and give yourself credit.” – Anna Miller 

“Growth isn’t always linear. Set realistic, manageable goals for the new year, focusing on what you can control rather than what’s out of reach. Practising mindfulness or journalling can help manage future-focused worries. Above all, be gentle with yourself; the festive period is about celebrating progress, not perfection, and recognising that setbacks are a natural part of life.” – Tom 

“One of my clients, a university student, shared how overwhelmed she felt seeing her peers post about internships and achievements while she felt like she was falling behind. My advice? Take stock of your personal growth, no matter how small it seems. Surviving difficult times, being kind to yourself or learning how to manage a challenge is an achievement. Reflecting on progress instead of perfection can shift the narrative and ease the pressure.

“Also, this time of year can bring heightened attention to your appearance, especially with reunions, parties or family comments about weight. I’ll never forget a young client telling me how she dreaded going home because her relatives always commented on her looks. We worked on reframing her self-worth away from appearance and practised assertive yet calm responses, like ‘I’d rather talk about how I’m feeling than how I look.’” – Ivea 

“How you look is the least interesting thing about you. Challenge your negative thoughts – squash those ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts). Replace self-criticism with kindness and gratitude for your body and all it does for you. We put so much pressure on ourselves, measuring success by productivity, but that’s not the whole story. Learning new skills, maintaining relationships and handling life’s challenges is incredible. Think of 2024 as a warm-up for an even better 2025. Focus on the lessons you’ve learned and use them to chase your goals with confidence.” – Amy 

Scenario: I’m really stressed about my finances, I don’t think I have enough money to be able to get involved with all the social plans and gift giving.

“Financial stress isn’t just about not having enough money – it’s the worry of making ends meet, paying bills on time or saving for the future. These pressures can take a serious toll on your mental health, especially at Christmas. It’s no surprise that over half of Gen Z feel financially stressed during the festive season.

“The first step to tackling this stress is honesty. Take a clear look at your finances, even if it feels daunting. Ignoring your bank balance only adds to the anxiety. Once you know where you stand, you can create a Christmas budget that works for you. This isn’t about cutting all the fun – it’s about making informed choices to stay in control and protect your mental health.

“Improving financial wellbeing also means being realistic about your spending. With the added pressures of Christmas, you might spend more than planned,and maybe that’s okay. It may well be possible for you to rebalance things during the quieter months.” – Tamara Harel-Cohen, financial wellbeing expert & co-founder of RiseUp

“I often hear from Gen Z about the financial stress of the season, especially not being able to afford all the nights out and the shame of not affording extravagant gifts. But gifts don’t need price tags to hold value. Some of the most meaningful gestures are heartfelt and personal – a handwritten letter, a handmade token or even a playlist of songs that remind you of someone special. These cost little but mean so much.” – Ivea 

Scenario: I don’t celebrate Christmas like everyone else does, and I’m feeling out of the loop.

“If you don’t celebrate Christmas, remember the season is about connection, not just one holiday. Instead of focusing on what you’re not doing, embrace your own meaningful traditions. Whether it’s a quiet time of reflection, self-care or activities that bring peace – like reading, meditation or nature walks – use this time to recharge. You could also connect with like-minded friends or family. If you’re invited to Christmas events, politely explain that you don’t celebrate, but would love to spend time together in another way. Suggest meeting after the holidays for coffee, a meal or exchanging small, thoughtful gifts at a more suitable time. This way, you can maintain meaningful connections without feeling pressured to partake in traditions that don’t align with your beliefs.” – Helen

“There’s no ‘right’ way to celebrate. For those who don’t connect with traditional Christmas customs, whether for cultural, religious or personal reasons, this is a great time to create new traditions. One client, for example, started hosting ‘Reflection Dinners’ where friends shared their hopes for the year ahead – meaningful, inclusive and entirely authentic to her.” – Ivea

“Engage with people from different generations who share your background. Ask how they celebrated their culture growing up and share your own experiences. Acknowledge the mixed feelings that arise from Christmas being so widespread in the West, be they positive or negative. Embrace them, and engage in thoughtful discussions about cultural, religious and faith differences. Honour your heritage with family and community, and feel free to decline events that don’t align with your values.” – Gisele Caseiras psychotherapist & co-founder of Likeminds.London 

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