Life Lessons With Arlene Phillips

“It’s funny, I always used to be the girl who washed her face with soap and water and little else! It wasn’t until the late 80s when I was working in New York and LA that I became aware of the beauty industry and all the products and innovations people were using. I remember going to these mega stores like Bloomingdales and Bergdorf Goodman and buying all these products that claimed they would hold my face together forever. In the end, though, I kind of gave up on that.

“My daughter, who is a make-up artist, never gives me ‘rules’ to follow per se, she just reminds me that the most important thing is to take it off properly every night. And that’s something everyone should subscribe to from the day they start wearing it. For me, the only thing I want make-up to do now is make me look a bit more alive. I’m lucky I never caked it on in my youth, so my skin is still in good nick and I’ve always had chubby cheeks which, actually, as you get older is a good thing.”

“Beauty is also about what you eat. My philosophy these days is that whenever I feel hungry, I always reach for something healthy first like a bag of tomatoes or cut cucumber. Snacking is the enemy – and I say that as someone who, historically, has been prone to putting on weight. There have been many years I’ve spent struggling to keep my weight down. Everything changed first when I went into the jungle on I’m A Celebrity and then again after I had Covid this year. For the first time in a long time my weight has dropped and my energy levels are higher. It’s helped me renew my vow to eat more healthily.”

“I lived through the 70s when many clinics on Harley Street offered to sell women little pills to help them lose weight. It’s only with the benefit of hindsight that we can all see how dangerous that was – not just literally, but also socially. They were preying on women’s desire to stay slim and I dread to think what those pills did to people’s bodies. I myself went to all sorts of frustrating lengths to lose weight so it cheers me to see how accepting we’ve become of women’s bodies in the last few years. Me? I’m interested in how I can use my body. When I was training, dancers’ bodies were reduced to their slimness but, now, there’s much more focus on how you use your body to express your talent. Movement and music will always be a part of my life – it’s so uplifting for mind, body and soul.”

“I’ve recently joined this campaign which is encouraging people over 55 to live their bucket list activities. That doesn’t have to be something extreme – it could be taking up running – but what’s it’s shown me is how important it is to try new things before it’s too late. Feeling like you’ve achieved something or ticked something off a list is so uplifting as we get older. It helps you feel inspired and you can inspire others, too. For me, music is the soul of life, so I’d encourage anyone to take up dance. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s going to be a challenge – giving it a go will help you prove to yourself that you are stronger than you think and that it’s possible to reach goals at any age. I dread the day I won’t be able to dance any more – but you’ll probably still find me sitting in the corner of a theatre somewhere drinking it all in!”

“Over years, relationships of all shapes and sizes have always been important to me. The way you conduct yourself in these relationships – be they romantic or platonic – will almost certainly affect you throughout the course of your life, too. My own mother was very loving, but I lost her when I was quite young. She could put everything right with a hug – and that loving attitude is something I’ve tried to emulate myself as I’ve grown older. My father, however, was very strict with a very bad temper and, while I never thought I’d end up like that, I can’t deny that those traits have been a part of my personality over the years. Much as I vowed never to shout at my children, I did!

“That said, it’s crucial to remember that who you end up as a person is completely down to you and your choices. My children know they are loved and the love you have for your grandchildren… well, where do I start? I never expected to be so in love with my granddaughters. Spending time with them in older age is such a gift – it’s a lifeblood, actually. Dance might have controlled my life for a long time, but family is what has defined it.”

“I’ve become much better at forgiveness over the years. While I mentioned I definitely had some of my father’s more stubborn traits, I’ve become much better at standing back from a situation and acknowledging when I need to forgive or apologise. For example, the other night I had an argument with my daughter that didn’t end in a satisfactory way. After about two hours I went and apologised – I’d lost my temper and it really wasn’t her fault. I’d had a long day and my emotions were very pent up. It was a special moment actually of mutual forgiveness and I’m so glad that’s somewhere I’ve managed to get to.”

“I’m a very real person which, ultimately, comes down to my upbringing on a farm in Manchester. I’ve had to work for every opportunity and this is what’s helped me keep my feet firmly on the ground. At my core, I’m still that girl who doesn’t really believe she’s ‘made it’. I’ve also experienced the ups and downs of fame, including ‘overnight’ fame (which actually is never a thing) and then the feeling that you’ve lost it. I’m lucky that my main work – choreography – had nothing to do with being famous and that, in the dance world, you get very used to being on top and then having to start all over again. Even when I got the Strictly job, I knew that it was probably just a moment in time, so it didn’t surprise me when they wanted to let me go. It was hurtful, don’t get me wrong, but I knew I had a life to go back to. I was ready.”

“Everyone has to take life with a pinch of salt. No one builds resilience quite like someone trying to work in showbusiness. I often get messages from parents of children desperate to be in dance or musical theatre, and I always say to them they should only pursue it if they can’t imagine life without it. But even then, they have to be prepared and strong enough to take daily rejection. If you’re not someone who deals well with rejection, this life is not for you. Resilience is ultimately about being able to bounce back. If anything knocks me back these days, I always give myself permission to go away for 24 or 48 hours to sob, scream, get it out of my system and then get up and get back to it. It’s the only way.”

“If there was anything I could say to my 25-year-old self who was doing every odd dance job she could get her hands on in London, it would be this: the future is coming. I wish she’d have known that the way she was as a person and the way she looked wasn’t going to matter. Self-belief was all she needed – the twists and turns in the road don’t matter, as long as you keep moving forward.”

Dame Arlene Phillips has teamed up with Wiltshire Farm Foods to launch its Wishlist Fund, where Brits can nominate themselves or someone they know over 55 to live out their bucket list activities for free. Judged by Dame Arlene, applications can be made at WiltshireFarmFoods.com until 25th October 2022.