Mariella Frostrup On Menopause & Midlife

SL: Good morning, Mariella! You’ve got a new book out, Menolicious, which you’ve written with Belles Berry, chef and daughter of Mary. It’s all about eating well through the menopause so, first things first, what did you have for breakfast today?

Mariella Frostrup: Well, today’s not a good day to ask because, like so many days, I’m not much of a breakfast person apart from at the weekends. I think of it as a very healthy choice, a sort of 16-hour fast. The opposite of my kids who wake up ravenous.

Monday through Thursday I might have a date or something light. If I’m going to the gym, I’ll have a boiled egg, which I’ve “sexed up” with our miso dipping sauce. It sounds odd, but it’s delicious. Basically, you roll boiled eggs in black sesame seeds, so they look pretty, then dip them in a mix of miso, apple cider vinegar, tamari and maple syrup. It’s one of my favourite quick breakfasts because it doesn’t fog me up or slow me down.

At the weekends it’s different. Breakfast would rank as one of my favourite meals, but only when I can do it properly later in the morning, with time.

SL: Has writing the book changed how you eat?

MF: Definitely. My eating habits really improved about ten years ago when I went to a health bootcamp in Devon called Yeotown. I was in despair in perimenopause, had done all the useless blood tests and didn’t know what was happening to me. But after five days there, I felt completely rebooted. I was sleeping, digesting and had, for the first time in years, a glimpse of real health. It was revolutionary. I ate loads, felt great and left with a flat stomach – not from dieting, but because my system was working again.

Their recipes were mostly vegetarian then, but now we know how important protein is in midlife (you lose muscle mass overnight), they include fish, seeds, nuts, beans, pulses, cashews instead of dairy, all of that. 

That’s where the book comes from: my discovery at Yeotown and Belle’s incredible knowledge and skills as a chef. Of course, Yeotown has a full-time chef; real life doesn’t, so we wanted to make recipes that are simple, achievable and doable in 30 minutes max.

SL: And in terms of menopause symptoms, what can diet really help with?

MF: The most important thing is accepting change. Many of us cling to old habits, but our metabolism slows down. We don’t process things like sugar, bad fats and alcohol the way we used to – a glass of wine can wreck your sleep. Chocolate suddenly makes you gain weight. So, it’s about listening to your body and adjusting. I’d never claim food erases menopause symptoms, but it can help you feel the best you can while going through it.

It’s not rocket science. It’s what we should all be eating – more lentils, chickpeas, beans, fibre. Less refined, ultra-processed food. A rainbow of vegetables. Healthy fats – olive oil, avocado, nuts, seeds, fatty fish. Prebiotics, probiotics. And crucially, it’s about making these foods a pleasure, not a chore. Recipes that add joy and energy, not more pressure.

SL: Do you feel the conversation around menopause has opened up? Have you seen change in the issues you campaign on?

MF: I do think the conversation has opened up, but the thing I’ve realised more and more is that singling out women for extra support at one stage of their biological journey, particularly in workplaces, risks further stigmatising them.

What we actually need is a total reshaping of workplaces, so they work for everyone. The working world has been built on a male model: start at the bottom, work your way up, retire, play golf, die. Women’s careers, because of our biology, don’t follow that straight line. We get pregnant, we still do the majority of child-rearing and 68% of all caring responsibilities. Every child costs a woman roughly 4% of her salary compared to her male peers and, by pension age, women have 20-30% less because of the time out we’ve taken.

The data is emphatic: women are economically vital, so workplaces need to adapt. Look at flexible working – before the pandemic, it was seen as something women needed for school pick-ups. But during Covid everyone adopted it, and it’s been proved to boost productivity and improve work-life balance. Men have embraced it as much as women. That’s the sort of change we need – policies that benefit all, not just women, because singling out menopause, fertility or pregnancy can reinforce stigma.

SL: What’s one thing you wish you’d known before menopause?

MF: I wish I’d known about menopause, full stop! If you’d asked me at 30 what I wanted to be when I grew up, I wouldn’t have said a nationally known menopause campaigner. I wouldn’t even have known the word.

At 48, I was blindsided. I’ve spent my whole career campaigning on gender inequality, yet I had no clue about something that affects every woman. That shock is what kickstarted my campaigning. I thought, if I don’t know, how on earth is it for other women?

That’s why with Menopause Mandate we’re pushing for the NHS 40-plus health check to include menopause. It’s supposed to predict and prevent future illness, yet 50% of the people who attend aren’t told about the one inevitable health challenge they’ll face. At 40, women should be given information: a list of symptoms, what to look out for and details of what support is available. If I’d had that at the right time, my experience would have been far less daunting.

SL: What was your menopause experience like?

MF: From 46 to 48, I had two years of terrible anxiety, palpitations, obsessive thoughts, constant worry – often in the middle of the night. It felt like I was going mad. Of course that fed into chronic insomnia. I had no idea what was happening.

I went to my GP, was offered antidepressants and, after multiple blood tests, was told I wasn’t menopausal – peri, post, not at all, each result different. We now know those tests are useless in perimenopause, because hormones fluctuate so wildly. What matters is listening to the range of symptoms, but GP appointments aren’t set up for that. You can only present “one problem”, whereas menopause is a whole collection.

Eventually I went privately. A brilliant gynaecologist, Sara Matthews, listened to me for ten minutes and said, “You’re clearly perimenopausal.” She sent me for a bone density scan and that’s when I began to understand the full impact of hormone depletion – not just the mental strain but the physical risks like osteoporosis and heart disease. It felt like opening Pandora’s box. Every day I was discovering something I should have known years earlier.

That lack of awareness is the real scandal. Most women start perimenopause in their early forties, yet too often they’re dismissed with sticking-plaster solutions or told they’re too young. We need proper information, support and the confidence to say: this is what’s happening, and this is how we can deal with it.

SL: How have you adapted your exercise routine at this stage of life?

MF: I was pretty fit in my thirties, lots of gym work. Then I had my kids in my early forties and exercise tailed off, apart from pushing prams and hauling them around on bikes. From my mid-forties I started more Pilates and yoga. I’ve always been a walker because I’ve always had dogs, so an hour’s walk has been part of daily life. I thought I was doing okay. I tried running, but now it just feels wrong – my knees hurt, my bones ache.

More recently, I realised I needed to go back to weight training, like I used to do in my thirties. The moment of truth was struggling to open one of those pull-top cans – I just didn’t have the muscle strength. And, of course, to combat osteoporosis and maintain bone density, you need weights. Now, I go twice a week with my friend Alice [Smellie, co-author of Cracking the Menopause]. We train for an hour with a brilliant guy in Shepton Mallet.

SL: Do you have easy health hacks you’ve adopted?

MF: Yes, little swaps. If I want something sweet, I’ll have a date, not chocolate or cakes. I never buy cakes – it doesn’t even occur to me. Maybe that’s my Scandinavian side; I prefer pickled herring to sugar. Give me a Ryvita with tomato, olive oil, salt and pepper any day.

And I make energy balls in industrial quantities; I keep them in the freezer at home and in London. When you hit that slump, your body’s looking for sugar. An energy ball gives you the hit, but with goodness and sustained energy.

I also make sure my plate looks colourful – it’s a quick visual check to ensure I’m getting a range of nutrients. And I try to avoid bad carbs most of the time. I’m not rigid – I’ll still have a cocktail now and again – but day to day, I think of food as fuel. Of course it should be delicious, too, but it’s about asking: what’s going to give me what I need right now?

SL: Have you had to adapt how you drink alcohol now?

MF: Yes, definitely. I can’t really drink red or white wine in the evenings anymore. If I have a glass of white wine or rosé, it’ll be at lunchtime, so I’ve got the whole day to process it. If I drink in the evening, the sugar wakes me at two o’clock without fail. I can pretend it’s something else, but it isn’t. It’s just one more example of that change we talked about earlier – you have to accept things are different and adapt.

SL: And how do you relax? What are you reading, watching or listening to at the moment?

MF: I’m an obsessive box set viewer these days. I used to be a voracious reader – maybe a book a week – but now it takes me a couple of weeks to get through one because I mix reading with watching. I find it very hard to say no to a second episode of something. Then I’ll read before bed to help me sleep.

Books are still how I learn about the world and how other people think. With the genocide in Gaza, I’ve been reading both Palestinian and Israeli writers to try to understand what it’s like for people living ordinary lives in that situation. Sometimes fiction is the best way to reach reality, especially when headlines are so polarised and driven by algorithms.

At the moment I’m reading David Grossman and Minor Detail by Adania Shibli, a brilliant Palestinian novel that was cancelled at the Frankfurt Book Fair after October 7th, which made no sense to me. It’s an extraordinary book. And I’ve been watching Fauda, which follows a rogue unit of IDF agents operating in the West Bank. What it really highlights is how similar the people are – Jewish and Arab – despite identity divisions. It just breaks your heart.

SL: Do you have any travel plans coming up?

MF: I’ve just come back from two glorious weeks in the Caribbean. We are very lucky to have friends with a house in the Grenadines, so I feel very spoiled even thinking about more travel. But I do have a friend’s 50th in Marrakesh in October, so we’re heading to Morocco for that. And if I could, I’d go away every Christmas, but my husband and kids love Christmas at home. It’s a constant battle in our house.

We’re pretty much empty nesters now – my youngest is about to go to university in Manchester, so suddenly we can do whatever we want, whenever we want. That’s quite strange. I’ve always booked holidays around school timetables, but now the kids want to do their own thing, and maybe my husband and I will have to rediscover romantic weekends away. It’s a time of change.

SL: And what are you excited for in this next chapter?

MF: I’m proud to be contributing to some of our most important cultural institutions, like the V&A and the British Council. They’re global flag-bearers for Britain and I think we undervalue them at our peril. Making sure art and culture are accessible to as many people as possible – both here and abroad – feels vital.

The most terrifyingly exciting project is Cracking the Menopause: Live, which I’m doing with Alice Smellie. We’re trialling the show on 10th September and plan to take it on tour in the new year. It’s the first time I’ve been on stage since The Vagina Monologues when I was 39, so that’s daunting, but also thrilling.

Alongside that there’s Menopause Mandate, my government work, and I’m also writing a childhood memoir, which is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. So yes, busy, busy, but I’m always excited. I’m always looking for new things to discover and new ways to connect.