Church Weddings: What You Need To Know

What are the different rules for Catholic, Protestant or Quaker church weddings? 

The wedding ceremony itself will differ according to each faith. Some are stricter and allow less flexibility or personalisation, while some will have more traditional elements which have to be incorporated, so they will be longer. All are legally binding in the UK, but there can be a lot of differences, so don’t assume the rules are the same in each place of worship – or even every part of the UK; there are different rules for England, Scotland and Wales as all Protestant churches across the regions operate independently. Ultimately, your request to be married will be decided by the pastor, vicar or priest at each church, and while some legal requirements will be universal, others will be specific to the area or the diocese.

Christian weddings include both Protestant or Catholic weddings and are relatively strict in terms of structure. They must be conducted in a church, which usually means you need a connection to that specific church. If your venue has a church on site that's part of a parish, the reverend may visit the venue and conduct your ceremony on site (although this is only usually the case for protestant ceremonies). The two ceremonies don’t differ that much from each other, and both weddings must be conducted inside.

Quaker weddings are different in that there’s no officiant – Quakers apply to a committee first, which then approves the marriage. They are sometimes known as silent weddings, as guests enter the Quaker Meeting House and generally settle into silence. Both the bride and groom enter together, say their vows and then another Quaker will oversee their marriage licence. Quakers allow divorced and same-sex weddings, the only requirement being a link to the Quaker faith and community. 

What are the legal requirements and what licenses/documents do you need to have on hand? 

You’ll be asked for proof of ID – usually a passport – and evidence of your connection to the church. That might include utility bills that show your address or your parents’ marriage certificate. Other legal requirements include proof you’re of an age to marry; you are not already married or your divorce is finalised (you will have to show a decree nisi); and you are both willingly entering into the marriage. It is sad to note that not every religion will allow same sex marriages in the UK, so a civil or Humanist ceremony may be the best option for LGBTQ+ couples.

Can you get married at a church not near where you live?

It is possible to get married at a church elsewhere, but it does require a little more planning. Some parishes request that you have a special connection with the area, or they may ask that you to live within the parish for a specific period of time (usually a week at a time) before they will agree to marry you. Don’t let this put you off – some of my couples really enjoy this part of the process. Some have even hired an AirBnB and taken a full week out to have a ‘wedmin’ holiday. 

Some churches will ask you to attend a service every week for a minimum period of time before agreeing to marry you – which is obviously more difficult if you live further away. Each church is different, so again, make sure you’re really clear on the rules before you make any bookings.

Do you have to be religious to get married in a church? 

Not necessarily, but church weddings tend to be very focused on the specific faith and less so on the couple – so if you aren’t particularly religious, have a good think as to whether a church wedding is the right option for you. Most follow a strict traditional structure, too, with little room for personalisation, other than choosing hymns and readings. So if you want your family to be more involved or add music or other forms of entertainment, it might not be the right venue.